I lied... and I'm sorry. Please forgive me for I am weak and only human. You gave me your trust and I lost it. I realize it will take a great deal of time to gain it back but I am willing. I am willing to finally change and stop living for what the world regards as "beautiful." Numerous times have I promised to stop... knowing that I never would. I'm not going to promise anything this time because it will break my heart to see the disappointment in your eyes again if I do fall. I'm hurting... physically, emotionally, spiritually. My mind is not what it used to be. Please don't abandon me in this time of hardship. I need you now more than ever